Il Cucchiaio d'Argento (The Silver Spoon)

Today I have had an important task. Looking for nice recipies to do together with Witte Haai and Sophie-the-excellent-cook-for-sweet-dishes.
Although the Lady that will host the dinner of the 26th is giving to everyone advices on what to bring and what NOT include in the recipies, time is running out and I forgot to check out the recepie that WE should prepare.
As one of the guest is pregnant and very careful with food at the moment, the last thing I'd like to do is to choose a dish that SHE can't eat.
Thus, out of more than 100 recepies for fancy desserts, only one is saved: the blueberry custard.

...wait a minute: I've been looking in an Italian book of recepies, the famous, de enige de echte Cucchiaio d'Argento and the only suitable dessert I could prepare, according to the circumstances, is the blueberry custard???!!!

but...but...the custard is an English, I repeat, ENGLISH recipie!!!!!!

uffa.

il sogno

lo stesso sogno, ogni notte - the same dream, every night
una casa diversa, ogni volta - een verschilende huis, iedere keer
...ma é la mia casa - but it is my house
che strano peró, ci sono troppe persone, in questa casa - wierd though, er zijn te veel mensen in dit huis
sto cercando il mio posto, in questa casa - ik zoek mijn plekje in dit huis

spesso alla fine del sogno mi accorgo che non sono io che ho scelto quella casa - at the end of the dream I always feel that it's not me to have choosen that house
ah, forse é per questo che non mi sento a mio agio

i look for my place in this house - big, crowded, confused as my dream.

productively productive

Sometimes, like now, it feels as if the biggest challenge is to remind oneself how worthwhile is one's own project, plan, product, no matter what, no matter how we do it.
Today is Monday, the first Monday of the month of November, 2007. I should have finished my third thesis two thousand years ago - or at least, this last summer- but no, I'm still here working on it. I used to love the academic environment, however since the last year and a half I'm quite oppressed by it, as I really feel the time to be somewhere else and doing something else is now, and is rushing out.
It's like a river flowing very fast, and I look at it and I want to jump in it and swim in it but I just learnt now to swim again, and I'm not that practical yet - so I'm afraid. In the meanwhile, the fact that I still need to produce this last academic work within a short time doesn't give me the pleasure I used to feel when I was writing before. So I'm not enjoying this time either.
I am looking at the flowing river with the feeling that my breath will be taken away any moment, without having done something really meaningful yet - maybe this feeling is wrong, but it's there and it hurts.
It is probably a common pattern among human beings, to be refrained in facing the river, but soon or later everybody does. Sometimes it takes too long, and then you are swallowed by the water because you forgot how to use your abilities in handling it. It will be nice if it will not take me that long.

to be alone with yoh'

Today I spent the morning trying to plan my coming weeks, which should be dedicated exclusively to my thesis (?).
But there was an interference in my thoughts due to the upcoming great event (?) - one of my flatmates suddenly decides to screw us up and leaves the house we share out of the blue. This mess is not exactly what I hoped for when two days ago I was telling myself that I need some calm and quiteness to understand what to do in the coming months, but that's how life goes, usually.
However, because I love complicated situations, I should be happy that now every side of my life is very challenging. (no, I'm not happy and I'm fed up).

now I have to go to the dentist who is not able to fix a carie in one time, so I have to be tortured again and again. But while I'll be biking toward the dentist, I'll have in my mind "to be alone with yooooooo" a dear song which I finally manage to download, which makes me laugh and cry...so, is very challenging :)

the colours of memories

to see you

to meet you

to see you

at last.

this is the path where all my memories are still alive.

I know it's just a small place in the middle of a forgotten area in Milan, but it still has its appeal.

maybe because is so forgotten. and so transparent.

Dedicated to mr. white shark

65 and 26

At the beginning of the Seventies a young woman, in her early thirties, was trying to make a living by her own. She was a chemistry researcher in a farmaceutical company. She was still living with her parents, but she was dreaming to live alone. One day she had the opportunity to leave the parental house finding a place in the city center - a small cosy flat, just for her. She moved out, she was happy. But the mother insisted for long time to let her come back home - treating her as a "disobedient girl". After almost two years, she decided to move out again and "come back". But things were not the same anymore.

She found the parents' house too narrow for her, and she couldn't breath. She started to plan making a radical change in her life, thus decided to join the academic environment again and started studying medicine. Days were harsh, between the work, the university and a never-ending complaning mother. In between she was also making new friends - at the university. One of this new acquaintances was a guy studying medicine as well, coming from another country, also with the dream to make a change in his life - after having being travelling around the world for almost two years. His path and hers came to meet unexpectedly, and soon they decided to get married.
Marriage is a complicated thing. It's like a garden: if you don't put enough water, if you don't cut out the useless parasites, it will die, or it will live looking like a shadow-garden. But it's a life challenge that can be quite appealing. Two people coming from an allegedly different path decided to undertake this challenge together.
It was the beginning of the Eighties: the young woman was going toward her forties, and her mother was warning her that her chance in having a baby was already lost - you are too old! - she kept repeating to her. But the woman was ready to challenge herself with a new commitment, and at 39 years old she became a beautiful and shiny mother.
Months and years passed by, and the baby she had became a thoughtful daughter, almost having the same approach to life her mother used to have at her age. She was also trying to challenge the path of her life with difficult plans. Mother and daughter, having 39 years of difference, became the best friend of the other. One could mirror in the other, as their strong will to make a change in their life unified them more than ever.

It is now the fifth September in a row that I'm outside the country: in Sept. 2003 I was in Sweden, in Sept. 2004 I was in Austria. Now is the third year I spend the month of September in the country of tulips, which has taken my soul and my heart - unexpectedly. This morning I called my best friend to wish her a pleasant birthday,she has just turned 65! - and blaming myself not to have been able to celebrate this day with her. But this is the path I had to take. After all, I am almost like you, mum. And I love you also for this. You gave me the strength to challenge my life everyday, because you must never regret not to have done what you really wanted to.

It's already the beginning of a new year but I didn't get the time yet to boost this blog with new posts and pics.

But, at least, I'd like to put one nice picture.

Amsterdam is a very beautiful city, indeed. However there is another amazing place, a very small town, which is also in my heart. Its name is Cassino. This is a picture of a water source in this wonderful city of South Italy.

If it ever happen you to pass through Cassino, please also take a look at the Terme Varroniane. They are 1000 years old.